Why PMDD Makes You Push People Away
PMDD. It can make you feel like you're drowning. Ever heard of the 'drowning girl'? It's a metaphor. In PMDD episodes, you might push others away. Instinct kicks in. Survival mode. But why?
The Drowning Girl Metaphor
"Drowning does not look like drowning, and neither does PMDD." You might not notice it. But during PMDD, the instinctive response is to push away. Just like a drowning person might push a lifeguard. "A drowning person will drown the lifeguard.. this is just so relevant for PMDD."
Shame vs. Guilt
Shame. Guilt. They’re not the same. Shame says, "I am broken. I am bad." Guilt? It nudges you. Change is possible. "You cannot heal from a place of 'I am broken, I am the problem, I am bad.." Understanding this difference is crucial. Shame holds you back. Guilt can propel you forward.
Prepare Your Support System
You need a plan. On 'dry land'. Before PMDD hits. Loved ones can help without feeling lost. Have those talks. Coordinate your support network. Use a code word. Signal when you need help. This prevents drowning. For both you and them.
Self-Compassion Matters
"We need more self-compassion, and that starts with understanding the drowning girl metaphor." Be kind to yourself. It calms your nervous system. Reduces guilt and shame.
Personal Stories
Seventeen years. That's how long I battled PMDD without a name for it. Tattoos helped. I got one of the 'drowning girl'. A reminder. A symbol of my journey. Of understanding and healing.
Actionable Advice
- Separate Guilt from Shame: Recognize guilt as a motivator.
- Set Up a Rescue Plan: Talk to loved ones now.
- Use a Code Word: Let your network know when you need help.
- Map Your Symptoms: Use tools like the free Symptom Mapping Kit.
- Practice Self-Compassion: It’s key.
Bottom Line
"You are not the villain of your own story for the things you did while you were drowning." PMDD is tough. But with the right support, understanding, and self-compassion, you can manage.
Catch the full episode of PMDD Pep Talk Podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
